


Not Anymore

by CharlieRose324



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4473272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieRose324/pseuds/CharlieRose324
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris woke up one morning and...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Anymore

Chris woke up wrapped in the arms of another man.  The arms wrapped around him were muscular and warm.  They held him tightly; they made him feel safe.  He hadn’t felt this safe in a very long time.

 

Chris’ arms were also wrapped around the other man.  They were facing each other pressed close together.  Their bodies formed to each other, fitting perfectly together, like a puzzle that’s missing piece had just be found.

 

The embrace felt familiar to Chris.  They had been like this before, cuddled close, holding each other as if they were the only force keeping the world together; as if the world would crumble to pieces if they were to let go of one another.  But, it had been a long time since the last time they were like this.

 

The arms holding Chris weren’t the arms he was used to nowadays.  The arms Chris was now used to didn’t feel like this.  They weren’t this muscular and warm.  They didn’t hold him this tightly; they didn’t make him feel this safe.

 

Chris hugged the other man a little tighter, knowing that it would soon be time for him to go back into the other arms.  Feeling Chris move, the other man woke up.

 

“Chris?” he questioned with a yawn.

 

“It’s okay, Darren,” Chris said as he sat up.  “Go back to sleep.”

 

“I don’t want to.  If I go back to sleep, you’ll leave…”

 

Chris sighed and rested his head in his hands.  “I can’t be here, Darren.  We can’t be here together.  We’re not together anymore.”

 

Darren sat up a little and held Chris tighter.  “Please don’t leave me.”

 

Chris held him close and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.  “I’m sorry.  But, I have to.”

 

“Why do you have to go?  I know you don’t want to go back to him.  I know you’d rather stay here with me.”

 

“It doesn’t matter.  It can’t matter.  Not anymore.  We broke up, Darren.  _You_ broke up with _me._ I can’t do this to myself again.  I can’t let myself get hurt again” Chris got out of the bed and started putting his clothes back on.

 

Darren sat on his knees on the bed, watching him.  “I love you.”

 

“I loved you,” Chris didn’t look at him as he buttoned up his jeans.

 

“You still do,” Darren kept his eyes on Chris.

 

“I can’t, Darren.  Not anymore,” Chris pulled his shirt on.

 

“I would never hurt you again, Chris.  I promise.”

 

“That’s not a promise you can be sure you’ll keep.”

 

“Yes, it is, Chris.  I don’t want to lose you again.”

 

“You’re not losing me _again._ You chose to lose me once.  I’m not going to let you have me again.  This was one night.  Nothing more.”

 

“So, you’re saying that this meant nothing?  Just another hook-up?  You can’t say that, Chris.  I know you.  I know when you don’t care about something.  I know how you are.  I know this meant something to you.”

 

Chris groaned and sat back down on the bed.  “I can’t do this right now.  I don’t want to do this.”

 

“Because I’m right.”

 

“Because I need to get home to my boyfriend,” Chris looked over at him.  “You and me, Darren.  We’re a thing of the past.  We can’t be together.  Not anymore.”

 

“Okay,” Darren moved closer to him.  “So, tell me this, then.  If we can’t be together anymore and this meant nothing to you, then why are you here?  If this was just another hook-up for you, then why me?”

 

Chris bit his lip and didn’t answer.

 

“There has to be a reason, Chris.”

 

Chris sighed.  “I thought that maybe coming back for one final time would get me over the heartbreak.  And it was working until you had to go and say you want me back.  Believe me, I really want to have you back, too.  But, I just can’t let you play your games with my head.  Not anymore.”

 

Darren sighed and took Chris’ hands in his.  “I am so sorry, Chris.  You have to believe me.  I made a huge mistake, and I regret it with all of my heart.  Please.  Please come back to me.  I love you.  I _need_ you.”

 

Chris was silent for a minute before he spoke again.  “Do you remember when we first got together?  I was so reluctant to be with you because I’d had my heart broken so many times, and I didn’t want it to happen again.  Especially not by my best friend.  But, you promised you would never break my heart.  So, I agreed to be with you.  And I fell.  I slowly fell for you.  I trusted you.  Then you broke your promise,” tears were falling from Chris’ eyes by now.  “When you broke up with me, you said it was because you had fallen in love with someone else.  That was the worst thing you could have said to me because then I knew that I’m not enough for you.  You were the first person that I really let in.  You were the first person I really loved.  I fell so hard for you.  But you just let me hit the ground.  I can’t let it happen again.”

 

Darren looked down at their hands.  “I’m such an idiot.  Chris, I’ve never regretted anything so much in my life.  I would give anything to take back what I did to you.  Please tell me, is there anything, anything at all, that I can do to have you back?  I’ll do anything.”

 

“I don’t know, Darren.”

 

Darren wiped a stray tear from Chris’ cheek.  “I love you, Chris.  I really am sorry.”

 

“I love you, too.  And I believe that you’re sorry, but I just don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

 

Darren sighed softly and nodded.  “I’ve really messed up.  I’ll never convince you, will I?  I don’t know what else to say to make you believe me.”

 

Chris just shrugged.

 

“Okay.  Just let me say this before you go home.  I love you.  I know I made some mistakes.  I know that I will never forgive myself if I’ve lost you forever.  I’m so sorry.  Just know that nobody else will ever love you as much as I do.”

 

Chris closed his eyes and sighed.

 

Darren let go of Chris’ hands.  “Okay.  You can go now.”

 

“I don’t think I want to go,” Chris said quietly.

 

“I thought you had to get home.”

 

“No,” Chris shook his head.  “You’re right.  I don’t want to go back there.  It isn’t home.  This is home.  I only want to be with you.”

 

“What about him?”

 

“I’ll tell him.  He doesn’t really love me anyway.”

 

“So, you and me?  We’re not broken up anymore, right?” Darren asked with a hint of a smile.

 

Chris smiled and kissed him softly.  “Not anymore.”


End file.
